Stay beautiful, but keep it ugly.

Hai there, I’m Ariana. c: [ar-ee-ah-nah]

I’ve only ever met a handful of people who have pronounced it right the first time. I don’t really like writing about me’s, because they always sound ridiculously self centered in the end, but I choose to do them anyway. Screw having a short and simple about me, there is nothing short or simple about me. I don’t expect anyone to ever read this, but I’m going to write it all anyway. I could say anything I want to say about myself on here. I could make up some huge fascinating story about my life, and make you all wish you were me. Honestly, I’d love to be able to say I’m some amazing girl with extremely good looks, but I can’t. That would be lying. I’m not full of myself, and I often put myself down. I can promise you, I’m anything but amazing. My life isn’t one huge fairytale, and I’m not going to make up false perfections just to make myself seem more interesting. Don’t judge me based on what you read, you’ll probably end up completely wrong. I’m not going to say I’m different from anyone else you’ll ever meet, because honestly, I’m probably not. My full name is Ariana Cherise Skinner, if that’s too much for you just call me Ariana or Bubbles (or maybe you could give me a nickname?). I was born on the Eleventh of August 1994, which makes me currently eighteen. I was born in Newcastle, but I currently live on the Gold Coast. I have blondey browney hair, which is pretty long and I’ve got green eyes. I’m kind of short. I’m the oldest sibling in my Family, I have a half brother and a half sister, they’re amazing; I just wish I could see them more often. I was a vegetarian for a while, but I got really sick and my Mum forced me to start eating meat again; But I certainly don’t support the slaughter of animals. I have an infatuation (read as: obsession) with Harry Potter and all things to do with Harry Potter and a lot of bands I adore. I very much enjoy watching and quoting A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel. Glee makes me happy. My iPod is my best friend. I’m the weirdest kid you’ll ever meet, plain and simple. I’m me, and that’s something no one else can ever be. I am who I want to be, not what other people want to see. I’m not changing for anyone. If we don’t know each other I’ll be extremely shy, but if we’re close there’s a chance you’ll want to sew my mouth shut. For someone my age, I’ve been through a lot. I believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and learned from them. I often hold my emotions in and usually won’t talk about how I feel. I hate putting my problems onto other people. They have their own problems, they don’t need to deal with mine too. I’m single, and it doesn’t really bother me. I’m not looking for that perfect prince charming. I want something, someone real. It seems like whenever I’m in a relationship, I’m the one that ends up getting hurt. I’m sick of putting all my time and effort into people that throw it back in my face, I’m sick of people treating my heart like some sort of toy; sick of people stomping all over it, and I’m sick of always trying to put it back together again after they leave. I get hurt easily and far too frequently. I’m a monstrosity, I feel like no one will ever love me for who I am. I do want to find someone I can cuddle and be silly with, but I’m not really looking. It’d be nice to have someone though. I’m not afraid of love, but I am afraid of getting hurt. I’m straight, but I’m not against gay’s, bi’s, transgendered people or anyone else. Love is love, no matter what gender you are. I’m all for equality and I think the sooner everyone gets equal rights, the better. The past few years haven’t exactly been ‘easy’ for me, but I know it could have been a lot worse. I’m not the skinniest or the prettiest person, it bothers me a lot more than it should. My perception of myself is terrible, sometimes I feel like I have no self esteem at all. I’m trying to fix myself, and I’m getting there slowly. When it comes to my own problems, I’m very pessimistic. But towards other peoples struggles, I tend to be really optimistic. This can sometimes make me look rather hypocritical. I’m always a mess, I can never keep my own secrets. My bedroom walls used to be covered in posters, but since I moved I haven’t been bothered putting them all back up. I plan on putting them up eventually though. Make up is something I truly adore. I believe everyone’s face is a blank canvas, waiting to be turned into a masterpiece. I’m not the most creative person, but with makeup I feel like I have no limits. After I finish school, I plan on doing a Diploma of Specialist Makeup Services. I’ve been told I’m mature for my age, I’ve also been told to grow up many times. I have a split personality. I live half my life like I’m seven, and the other half like I’m seventy-seven. I can’t whistle properly, I’d love someone to teach me how to. I enjoy going for long walks in the rain barefoot and jumping in puddles. I love the rain, I find it really calming and soothing and it’s my favourite kind of weather. I hate bridges, I don’t know why. I write poems sometimes, but they’re really not any good. I’m addicted to hugs, I absolutely adore them. I don’t think I’d ever turn down a hug (unless you’re an old, creepy pedo or something). I’m a horrible drawer. I can barely draw anything more than a stick figure, but I envy and admire people who can. I’ve been called every name in the book, nice and nasty, and I really couldn’t care less anymore, I am what I am and I don’t care what anyone thinks, if you have a problem with me, then that is your problem. I’ve been through too much and taken too long to find out who I really am, to change it because you have a problem with it. I hate crying, but being the emotional person I am, I actually cry a lot. Even while watching Disney movies. I plan on finishing high school, unlike a lot of teenagers today. Recently, I’ve been questioning almost everything I come across. When I think about what I want to get out of life, I just see a blur. I’m not a hundred percent sure which direction I want to go in when I finish school. I don’t have any pets, but I really want a teacup yorkie; They’re the cutest. I’m actually not all that fond of animals honestly, but I love puppies, turtles, pandas, penguins and sloths. I love photography, I’m no good at it myself but a well taken photo says a lot. I love sitting outside and watching thunderstorms. I hardly ever dream at night. Or if I do, I don’t remember any of them. Ever. I’m left handed. I fall for people far too quickly, and usually end up getting hurt. I guess that’s what happens when you wear your heart on your sleeve. I adore tattoos, I can’t wait until I’m old enough to get my first one. The more I learn, the more I realise I know so little. I don’t like it when people buy things for me or spend money on me. I feel like I never get enough sleep, and I’m almost always tired. My hopes and dreams are mostly very unrealistic, my head is always in the clouds thinking of bigger and better things. I love my Playstation Two. Playing Crash Bandicoot, Spyro and Ratchet And Clank is often how I spend my weekends with my little brother. I’d really like to find a Nintendo 64 to play some older games. I’d like to get into more games but I’m not really sure what kind I’d like. I’m currently enrolled in a two year TAFE course, Certificate Three in Children’s Services and I love it. I’m almost finished and so excited. I love little kids, I think they’re adorable. Music is my escape, my refuge from everything; And definitely one of the most important things in my life, apart from my family. I really couldn’t live without it. I’m not the kind of person that listens to just one genre of music, I listen to a little of pretty much everything. If you know a song you think I might like, let me know. I love finding new music/bands to listen to. You don’t the music I like? I really don’t care. My music taste changes depending on my mood. I’m a pretty complicated person, don’t try to understand me. Chances are you’ll be completely wrong. There are so many things that make me who I am, and some you’ll never understand. I’m very sensitive and I take a lot of things way too personally. I’m the kind of girl who’ll sit and watch you play games and make you sandwiches and give you lots of cuddles. I’m not really into a lot of sport, I prefer watching than actually participating. I’d like to think of myself as more intellectual anyway. I’d like to think I’m a responsible person. I’m not popular, not even close. I don’t have a lot of friends, in fact, barely any at all. I’m not the girl who everyone loves. I’m the quiet girl no one pays a lot of attention to. Out of my parents, I’m probably closer to my Mum, she’s been there for me through every single thing in my life and has given up a lot for me, and I’m so grateful for that. She’s honestly my favourite person in the world, along with my little brother. I barely ever get to see my Dad. I don’t think I can really help it. I’m super clumsy at the best of times and I accidentally hurt myself a lot. I’ve met and talked to so many amazing people, some of which I’ll never forget. I plan to leave a mark on this world. I want to be somebody, do something for people. I don’t want to watch my dreams float away from me and out of my reach. Every year I get older, wiser, and closer to my deathbed. I’m going to try and make every second count. At this point in time, my life is going pretty well. It’s not perfect, but it’s getting there. Everything seems to finally be falling into place, and I’m happier now than I’ve been in a while. I don’t always make the right choices and I mess up a lot, tell me one person who doesn’t. I stand up for what I believe in, even if it means standing alone. We are all starting to become indescribably indistinguishable from one another, and it’s pretty pathetic. Don’t try and convince me that you’re different, or that you care or that you love me, actually prove it. Not one guy has proven to me that they’re not like the rest. They may have said it, but they never meant it. No matter the words and lies someone can fill your head with, you’ll get let down by someone eventually. Life is ever changing, one second your life is perfect and it’s playing out exactly the way you’d hoped it would, but in little time anything can happen. Putting all your trust into someone and making promises with people who are going to break them; I guess it’s going to happen a lot throughout life. Things are going to change all the time, for better or for worse; It’s a part of life. I’ve learnt not to hope for things that aren’t certain, and not to believe in anyone but myself. For years, I’ve wanted to learn how to skateboard and play acoustic guitar, although I don’t see either of those things happening any time soon. I believe everything in life happens for a reason, even the bad things, and that everyone has a purpose in life. We are all here for many reasons, but I think the main reason to live life, is not to find our own purpose, but to help others find theirs. I’m not really your average teenager, I don’t really do the whole partying thing a lot. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs; Just because I don’t want to. I have my reasons for it. I don’t have a problem with other people doing it though. It’s their life, their choice. I get attached to people and things way too easily, I guess it’s a weakness I have. I still sleep with a stuffed toy in my bed with me, it keeps me from getting lonely sometimes. I tend to contradict myself quite a lot. I’m shy yet outgoing, loud yet quiet. I’m a walking contradiction. I have massive jealousy issues and I don’t handle stress very well. I get lonely pretty easily. I’m not a very organised person, my room is almost always messy. I’m not a nasty person, if anything I’m too forgiving of people. I’d like to say I’m a hundred percent happy, but I’d be lying. I’m getting there though. Usually, I act a lot happier than I actually am. It’s easier to fake the smiles and the laughs and pretend like everything is okay. I hate improper spelling and grammar, I don’t know why but I find it extremely annoying. I don’t take compliments well, I’m insanely self conscious and I never really believe them when they’re said to me. All I ask for is honesty, it’s so much easier to tell the truth than to make up some ridiculous lie. I respect everyone’s morals and beliefs, it would be awesome if I got that same respect back. I don’t trust people easily, in fact I don’t think there’s anyone I actually trust with everything. You need to prove to me that I can trust you. It’s nothing personal. I just believe that trust and respect shouldn’t just be given, they should be earnt. I couldn’t care less what you think of me. The only thing that matters is what I think of myself. Despite all my flaws and mistakes I’ve made in the past, most people accept me for who I am, and the ones who don’t, don’t matter to me. That’s all I really ask for. In the end, I’m just another person on this planet who’s bound to be forgotten. Life, take it or leave it, it’s a bitch. It’s not fair and it never will be. If I’ve learnt anything from all the things I’ve been through in my life, it’s that I need to be happy with myself before I can be happy with anyone else. I won’t change for anyone. It makes me happy when people leave me messages and tell me they’ve read this whole thing. You think you’d know me pretty well after reading my about me, but in all honesty I’ve barely scratched the surface of ‘about me.’ If you don’t like what you read then sweet, I really couldn’t care less. I really am a nice person in the end, so talk to me. I won’t bite. If you’ve read this all, pretty sure you deserve a huge hug. c: See, in the end this all sounded so self centered.

I collect hugs, send one my way. <3

See you ‘round, like a cookie. (:
© 25th October, 2O11.